My First Ever Super Reluctant Blog (which is about absolutely nothing apart from the fact I'm reluctant about blogging)

I love a bit of procrastination. I really do. So much so, I schedule large chunks of it into my mental diary (Not a physical one, because I procrastinate about adding things into that too).

I have some really cool friends. Very smart, dynamic people, who seem to like me for reasons I am ill-equipped to fathom. They have been telling me for over a year about the importance of ‘content’. I know they are right, I know it is important, the problem I have with it is that I genuinely don’t like promoting myself.

I am incredibly self-conscious.

As a photographer, my job is largely to direct. Not just the creative vision, which is one big part of it for sure, but probably just as important, is directing all the people on set. I have happily taken on the role of making sure everyone is in a decent mood, feels appreciated, knows what they’re doing at all times (the more complex editorial shoots demand a lot of organising of many different components). I am very mindful of mood. Very. I am extremely sensitive to the feelings of others, to the extent that if someone is getting tired or stressed, I can feel it myself. So, I either make them laugh to lighten the load or I call time so we can all eat and recharge.

My point is (a good example of verbal procrastination for you there!) that I think way WAY more about other people than I do myself. And I am happy with it that way. I don’t like thinking about myself too much, I’m happier when I am less aware of myself if that makes sense. This is why I wear Uggs and stretchy clothes all the time, and I hardly wear makeup, because I don’t have to think about if my face has rubbed off or if my back fat is bulging out of tailored trousers.

I do not want to think about myself at all, I just want to take pictures and mess about in a field!!

And so it is with blogging. In order to do this, I have to think about myself. I have to think about what I want to say, and how it will be received by you lot. Throw in a propensity to over-analyse the shit out of everything, and you start to get an idea of why this is a challenge for me. I prefer to think about things outside of myself. But I’m going to do it anyway. Because sometimes, I do actually do as I’m told.

So I think the way this is going to go, is it will be a mixture of random stuff that I think is interesting, inspiring or funny. Sometimes it might just be about a job, I’m not sure. In any case, I would love to get some feedback on things you might like to hear me waffle on about. I will happily over-think about it for you. This first one though, this is about nothing at all. But at least I did it.

Hope you all have a great week.